Should the United States apologize to Spain?

This year is the 107th anniversary of the Spanish American War. It’s the war that made Teddy Roosevelt famous. My grandfather, who fought in the war at San Juan Hill, said he was a bully with a big stick.

America went to war with Spain after the battleship Maine blew up in Cuba’s Havana harbor on Feb. 15, 1898. On June 20, 1898 Spanish authorities on Guam surrendered the island to Capt. Henry Glass of the U.S.S. Charleston.

The Maine was the first battleship ever constructed in an American shipyard. It took nine years to complete after being authorized by Congress on Aug. 3, 1886. The construction of the ship was really “screwed up.” When launched it was discovered that the bow had a draft 3 feet greater than the stern. Forty-eight tons of valueless ballast had to be installed to place the vessel on an even keel.

The forward turret was located off center to the starboard with the result that it could not easily be maneuvered to fire to port. The aft turret was located on the port side and could not fire to starboard. As a result of this strange turret configuration the guns were not counterbalanced. If both turrets were turned in the same direction, the ship heeled over in that direction thus limiting its firing range to the point where its discharge would kill nearby fish. Turning the turret on one side of the ship toward the opposite side of the vessel was possible but required firing across the deck and through the superstructure. The vacuum created by the passing shell could damage both the deck and the superstructure alike. If there was a mistake and the gun was fired prematurely, the ship could actually shoot itself! It’s true; you can’t make such stories up.

It was said at the time that the ship represented a great step forward in American naval technology. The ship blew up in Havana harbor and many thought at the time that it was an act of sabotage and America went to war with Spain.

The war cry of the day was “Remember the Maine.” This was in reference to the ship—not the state—after President McKinley decided to intervene militarily in Cuba against Spain. After all, at a distance of 90 miles from Florida, Cuba was our nearest neighbor. On the other side of the world, Capt. Henry Glass sailed into Apra Harbor on June 20 and fired his guns. The Spanish governor dispatched an aid to inform Capt. Glass that he had no gunpowder to return what he thought was a courtesy salute. Upon being informed the two countries were at war the governor promptly surrendered Guam. When the war ended the United States’ acquisitions from Spain included, Cuba, Puerto Rico, the Philippines and Guam. For some reason the United States didn’t want the Northern Marianas and apparently neither did Spain, which sold them to Germany. Cuba and the Philippines later achieved independence.

Later studies of the incident have indicated a strong possibility that it was not sabotage that caused the destruction of the Maine. Evidence strongly suggests the ship blew up as a result of a bunker fire adjacent to its ammunition magazine. Another design flaw.

In 1976 Admiral Hyman Rickover conducted a new investigation and came to the conclusion that the explosion was caused by spontaneous combustion in the ship’s coal bins, a problem that afflicted other ships of the period.

If this, is true the United States should apologize to Spain and give Guam back and correct the history books. We probably should keep Puerto Rico since at least it’s in the same hemisphere and day as the United States. The Date Line can be confusing. Somewhere in mid-Pacific one passes from one day to another or from yesterday into today. If you were to reverse directions you will have traveled from what was then “today‚ into yesterday‚ since you will have already been in tomorrow” or something like that. Reason enough to return the island to Spain.

P.S. At the time the war cost $163 million (or $1.2 billion in today’s money—that’s how much inflation has eroded the buck’s purchasing power). On Aug. 12, a Peace Protocol ending hostilities between Spain and the United States was signed in Washington, D.C. The conflict ended when the Treaty of Peace between the United States and the Kingdom of Spain was signed in Paris on Dec. 10 in the year of our Lord 1898. Her Majesty The Queen Regent of Spain appointed her princely son, Don Alfonso XIII as Plenipotentiary, (I can’t pronounce the word but that’s a person that can sign on behalf of a government). As a little known footnote to history, at one time it is alleged that Don was also the owner of the Shroud of Turin, if you can imagine that. A little history never hurt anyone. It’s only when you don’t know it on examination day that’s worrisome.

* * *

William Stewart is a professional railleur and raconteur and is the vice president of the National Society for Bitching to Improve Conditions in America.