Mirror, mirror on the wall….

Constantly parents are told that they are the first and most important educators of their children. Many parents believe this and try hard to be role models for their children. Yet many parents fall in parenting to such an extent that the children either grow up as losers or become a burden on society. All the books, classes, and advice on parenting seems to fall on deaf ears. Could it be that these parents are living a life of lies to themselves and to their children?

Remember in the story Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs when the wicked witch asks, “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” The mirror answers truthfully by replying, “Snow-white is.” With that the witch goes into a rage and seeks to find and destroy Snow-white. I have come to the conclusion that many parents when they look in the mirror and see the truth reflectively staring at them, they also go into a rage quickly turning away and blame others for their shortcomings.

It as though these parents are standing in front of a mirror and thinking, “How can I advice my son/daughter not to drink and not do drugs, when I drink and do drugs myself’? How can I show my son/daughter that study and hard work pay off in money, position, and in satisfaction, when I myself am a slacker? How can I caution my son/daughter about sexual behavior, when I don’t practice caution myself]V How can I teach my son/daughter that respect and responsibility are two of the most important traits that a person can possess, when I myself do not practice them?” And more questions.

With so much evidence clearly proving that children are strongly influenced by their parents and quality of family life more than anyone else or any other institution, parents still fail to teach their children right from wrong. There can be only one conclusion.

These parents are living lies and are ashamed to accept the truth, let alone discuss it with their children. They find excuses in work, friends, and other activities, except time with their children. The truth is too painful.
What a sad and empty life those parents lead.
Delinquent parents cannot teach correct behavior because they cannot face the reflection in the mirror. They know that they are living lies, and as a result shy away from discussing correct behavior and correct attitude with their children. No amount of preaching or persuasion will ever change these parents. Their lives are in shambles and are helpless to assist their young children. As a result the schools are being tasked more and more to assume the role of parenting in addition to the role of educators.

Schools now have become surrogate parents, assuming not only academic instruction, but also life skills in general. Think of the things that were formerly taught in the home: moral behavior, social behavior, respect and responsibility, the merits of diligent work, cooking, sewing, house cleaning, sexual behavior, personal hygiene, discipline, and many other aspects of becoming a mature adult.
Now most of these are part of a student’s curriculum along with academic courses.
Sometimes I get tired of trying to encourage parents to accept their responsibilities when I know that many of them refuse to look in the mirror at their reflection. It’s always someone else’s fault.

Perhaps someday they will grow up and accept the reflection and add their children’s to it. Wouldn’t it be great if when asked: “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the greatest parent of them all?” The answer came screaming out “YOU ARE!”