A season for gifts

A circle of colleagues started thinking about the top 10 gifts they would like to either give or get this Christmas season. I asked my 6th grade class to pare it down to five. I hope to share their insights later.

For now, here are my top 10 major gift suggestions for this holiday season that are not on the shelves at Joeten or the DFS.

THE FUTURE: I will use less of the earth’s resources like oil next year than I did this year. Peak oil, the point at which we reach the halfway mark in the consumption of all known and projected oil reserves which we started pumping since 1859, occurred last Thanksgiving Day, we are told. Oil supply is now in decline. Since demand continues to increase, the cost of oil has no way to go but up.

CHOOSE BUTTER Versus GUNS: I will work to convert a portion of my country’s defense spending towards eliminating hunger and curing diseases. Hunger is no longer a production contradiction but one of distribution. The Sacramento valley alone is capable of producing all the rice requirements of the United States, and then some. We pay farmers not to produce in order to maintain a level of surplus that we use for coercive diplomacy. Between food and medical relief, the total national expenditure is miniscule compared to our budget for armaments.

INTIMACY: I will spend more time with my friend, spouse, and lover, sharing my aspirations and fears. Intimacy has moved from the heart to the pocketbook. We gauge the intensity of our affection by the commercial value of the gifts we give and receive. Last minute gift givers, according to the ChocoLatte proprietor, now depend on packaged presents, properly wrapped and beribboned sans knowledge of the content of the gift. Conversely, a uniquely crafted product delicately molded as an extension of one’s personality, is often easily dismissed and discarded because it is devoid of immediate monetary value, or is wanting of recognition by friends and peers. Romance is not an art we practice. We leave it to the matinee idols, and vicariously live through them.

COMMON GROUND: I will work immediately to understand the points of view of my political opponents and find common ground. Defining things in absolute terms as “either/or” propositions is a fanaticism that is not based in reality, nor supported by experience. Life does not come in black and white but of varied tones and hues, colors and textures. To insist that life is dichotomized into two opposing forces is the mindset that nurses conflict, brings us war, and builds fences of separation. We are quick to exclaim, “I do not agree,” when what we really offer is simply another perspective. The perspective of “both/and,” considered soft and wishy-washy in some sectors, is a timely stance to adopt.

RECONCILIATION: To a relative that I have been angry with, I will release my anger, channel the energy to creative labor, and work towards reconciliation. Anger management is a growth industry in our time. In the workplace, the mislabeled postal syndrome has increased in usage and incidence. Frequent display of the middle finger is evident in roadways, driveways, and hallways. A recent survey reported a 70 percent decline in manners among our youth. Words like “the truth is ugly,” and “I believe in tough love,” often conceal hostility and aggression. To be reconciled to those we are separated from, whether it be over land and property disputes, or of slights from a caustic word or misread glance, has come nigh to the bridge of tolerance, to the shrine of mutual understanding.

WISDOM: I will listen to the insight that comes from the young and elderly. Listening is a lost art in our time. One of my students’ response to the question: “What are the forms of expression guaranteed in the Constitution’s First Amendment?” was “Listening?” After three accurate responses, this fourth one was not technically the correct response, but it was a right answer. Daily, we ignore the man’amkos. If we are not irreverent, we deem them irrelevant. Conversely, we treat the young with indifference. An abrasive voice called me an “old man using abusive language” recently. It pricked my facade. But I do make one too many caustic comments. He had a point and I was called to account. He who bursts my balloon is my friend. I’ve learned to hear the young.

UNDERSTANDING: To persons that I feel prejudiced towards, I will work harder to love them because of who they are. “I am not prejudiced,” is a declaration frequently made. Even in my most enlightened hour, for as long as I discern and discriminate, I build up prejudices. So, it is not a question of whether I am prejudiced or not, it is a matter of whether my prejudices can be transcended, or transformed by the love that comes from unconditional acceptance. Sometimes, it happens. We receive cosmic permission to be who we are. At the depth of our insecurity, we refuse to accept this acceptance. However, when we do, everything is transformed. Still the same as before, our lives are suddenly and inexplicably pregnant with possibilities. When we accept the “Yes” that is pronounced upon our lives, bridges are constructed and we discover the miraculous!

HEALTH: I will exercise at least 30 minutes a day four times a week. This is one of the best gifts that I can give my loved ones and myself. Practices of dressing up my body precedes centering my heart and soul, comes before focusing my mind and brain, and foreruns the empowering of my will and resolve. Health maintenance is nothing but the great care of the fabulous I AM that I am.

EDUCATION: I will read more books, peruse more journals, monthlies and weeklies and consign the idiot box to the cobwebs until Blockbuster has a decent offering. Stretching the parameters of the brain especially on books and videos that inspire, rather than on stories and commentaries that gloom, is a choice I make.

COMPASSION: I will communicate to other insecure writers occasionally, either to agree with what they write, or to let them know why I don’t, and invite readers to do the same with me. Passion will fly in the face of what is real and authentic.

COMMITMENT: I will use my wisdom and all the aforementioned gifts to see people through rather than use them to see through people. Warts, woofs and all, to everyone, I still say, “I do,” before the question is even asked. Trust. It precedes verification.

This is my list. What’s yours?