A classic government worker

There is a very special employee working for our government today. I won’t mention his name, since it would compromise my source. So let’s just call him “Brad.”

Brad is an indigenous, politically well-connected person. He has no special skills or higher education. He is functionally illiterate and would be extremely lucky if he could earn $5.15 an hour working in the private sector. Brad is certainly not a rich man. He is not charming and he doesn’t even have a particularly appealing sense of humor.

Brad is really not much of a man, and hardly a capable, valuable employee. Yet somehow Brad is able to command upwards of $20,000 in CNMI tax dollars–our tax dollars.

Brad is able to do this because he has a powerful sponsor up on Capitol Hill. A certain local politician, probably a relative, is said to be looking out for him.

Either that–or else Brad probably commands a fairly large bloc of votes through blood relations (and is therefore very important to our politicians).

Other than that, Brad basically has no qualifications or redeeming qualities. He is a deadbeat, in debt way over his head. He is totally incapable of prudently managing his financial affairs.

In fact, Brad is reportedly served regularly at work–that is, whenever he actually shows up for work. His co-workers no longer count on him to be present; they all act as if doesn’t work there, because even if he does show up for work, his co-workers can never tell if he will actually stay the whole day.

After all, why should Brad stay and work the whole day if he doesn’t feel like it? You see, it really doesn’t matter whether Brad shows up or not, since he works for the government and, naturally–working or not–he will still get paid in spite of his perpetual incompetence, tardiness, and absences.

I know: Brad should be fired. In fact, he never should have been hired in the first place. But Brad is an indigenous person—reportedly a Chamolinian, no less.

You see, Brad is a voter. This is HIS Island, and he has a family to feed, which means he needs a job. Somebody has to hire him. The private sector won’t pay him very much, because he has virtually no marketable skills and—what is still worse—absolutely no work ethic whatsoever.

The private sector, after all, has to make a profit; the government clearly does not. The government just continues the racket: taking from the productive private sector in order to subsidize the useless, bloated, socialistic bureaucracies staffed by hopeless incompetents.

This is the CNMI’s fundamental and perennial problem, even in economic recession—-and even with the current “cutbacks”: the Brads still holding permanent government jobs, paid for by you and me.

And that, my dear friends, is why you must elect me into public office this November: to stop this rubbish and save our commonwealth from itself!