Parenting in modern day Marianas

Parenting in modern day Marianas is a difficult feat. The value system of kids are quite different from their parents’ parents who grew up during the reconstruction period after the war. Most were sons and daughters of farmers and fishermen and so they helped in the daily chores of one or both undertaking contributing to the family well-being.

Our lifestyle was basically traditional: no radio until the mid-sixties and subsequently television in the late sixties. When the latter medium came in, coupled with the boom time of the late eighties, nothing was ever going to be the same again for islanders whose lifestyle was once anchored in traditional family values.

These are grandchildren of parents who place utmost importance on traditional respect. But it seems these kids aren’t sure what respect is all about these days. It’s a strange imposition to which they seem to rebel against for it is too cumbersome, almost a shame. The kissing of the hand has gradually shifted to a simple handshake, peace sign and now high fives. Yes, lots of high fives or the latest fad in team one-upmanship emanating from the NBA.

Our sophomore generation (45-55 years old) had to pitch-in in every family activity that takes us to farm fields, the lagoon and daily house chores that included gathering wood for our traditional kitchen. As kids, we had empty sardine cans as toys which we push as we wipe off our runny nose with our fore-arm. For little girls, they had to contend with sewed-up dolls stuffed with local cotton mom picked somewhere in the woods. We had to work for everything that we wanted by way of extras. Nothing was ever handed down a silver platter.

Kids too are into fashion painting their hair red, blond, red, blue, or call it the Dennis Rodman ugly syndrome or tantrum. Blond hair while my skin is brown? I couldn’t figure that one out. But all these are what fashion designers call “a reflection of our time”. Ward robes have also changed from tight pants and bosso nova shoes to oversized shirts and pants placing kids in danger of being strapped to classroom desks, chairs or exit doors. But it’s the young kids’ fad!

These are kids who grew up having everything under the sun from Nintendo games, assorted video that include sex and violence, walkman and other paraphernalia of the time. Their goals are a bit different too striking discordant notes from our goals as kids 30 to 40 years ago. Ours was to learn how to type on either Underwood or Royal typewriters and now the computer brought about by technology. Theirs is to break away from tradition replacing everything with instant music and dance (karaoke) only to build that sense of instancy in their attitude.

But the doors of abundance are gradually closing on these kids who now must deal with an uncertain future in both their plans to go on to school or setting their foot in the real world of life after campus. With job opportunities shrinking fast and steady in the local job market, most of the 300 high graduates would be the first group to experience instant hardship as they struggle to find some meaningful employment. Most would not be able to land jobs given that the private sector has begun (since two years ago) downsizing business operations to deal with a drop in business volumes.

Meanwhile, there aren’t any opportunities in the public sector given that it is bloated and has begun work hour reductions. The most troublesome change as late as this year on an island once known for its traditional peace and hospitality was the fatal stabbing of a young boy while asleep at home in San Vicente. It is a signal of the combined influence of a myriad of changes in the lifestyle of islanders. It is a troublesome shift in the attitude of our young people. It’s the beginning of mind numbing challenges in parenting. Henceforth, parents must constantly deal with their children’s development in every aspect of their growth. It both an individual and collective responsibility as a community.
Strictly a personal view. John S. DelRosario Jr. is publisher of Saipan Tribune