Senate Transcripts
Document Extract–Official Transcript
September 14, 1999
Exchange between Sweatshop-obsessed Congressman from Hawaii and Saipan Representative
Sweatshop-obsessed Congressman from Hawaii: You, the dishonorable Congressman from Saipan, I want to ask you a question: Have you stopped beating your wife yet?
CNMI Congressman: What?!
SOCFH: Have you stopped abusing your maid yet?
CNMI Congressman: Excuse me?
SOCFH: Please tell the members of this Committee exactly what you did with your farmer and fisherman.
CNMI Congressman: Pardon me?
SOCFH: Have you stopped abusing your foreign workers yet?
CNMI Congressman: You mean me personally?
SOCFH: Ah, no, I meant you as an indigenous, primitive people largely incapable of local self-government and therefore wholly dependent on enlightened federal officials to administer the islands. But–by all means–please feel free to go ahead and graphically describe, in revolting and gruesome detail, any labor and human rights abuses you may have personally inflicted against your highly vulnerable nonresident workers. Of course, I mean you personally. I know you are all ruthless, sadistic labor abusers. I just want you to admit it, so that we can cease with this charade and begin a process of meaningful federal reforms.
CNMI Congressman: Has OSHA stopped protecting worker safety in the CNMI?
SOCFH: What?
CNMI Congressman: Has the US Labor Department, the EEOC, the NLRB, the F.B.I. and the U.S. Justice Department allowed us to continue perpetrating horrendous labor abuses on ‘American Soil’?
SOCFH: Excuse me?
CNMI Congressman: How much did your protectionist labor union constituents pay you to lie about our people, cripple our industry, and take over our islands? Have you no shame? Will you stop at nothing?
SOCFH: I won’t stop as long as your own Resident Representative–who I hope becomes your next Governor– continues to give me campaign contributions so that I can continue my tireless efforts to discredit your oppressive local regime and rule you from Washington, D.C.