An easy way to happiness

By David Khorram, MD

Have you ever wondered how you can be happier? I recently came across a fascinating research project that studies “Gratitude and Thanksgiving.” Researchers at the University of California and the University of Miami are using scientific methods to figure out how we can be happier. In a nutshell, they have found that practicing gratitude has a positive effect on both physical and emotional health. In this column I hope to share some of the results of the Research Project on Gratitude and Thanksgiving (or the “Gratitude Project”), and to show how to easily incorporate some of their practices into your own day.

THE GRATITUDE PROJECT

The Gratitude Project has conducted quite bit of research over the past few years. Yet, of all their studies, one caught my attention because it showed that you don’t have to be naturally grateful to feel happier. You just have to start thinking grateful thoughts to be happier. I realized, “Hey, I can do that! Anybody can do that!” In this particular study, the researchers took several hundred people who all had the same measure of happiness at the beginning of the study. These people were randomly divided into three groups. The first group kept a record of the events of the day. The second group listed their unpleasant experiences each day. The third group kept a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

At the beginning of the study everyone starts out feeling equally happy. Over the next month they go about their lives as they usually do, experiencing what we all experience—good things and bad things, happy things and sad things, pleasant things and irritating things. There is only one difference among the three groups: they will spend a few minutes of each day thinking about and recording three different things. One group will be “neutral,” just recording the events of the day, one group will think about the “hassles” and one group will “be grateful.” At the end of the month, the researchers will measure the level of happiness of the people in the groups.

BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE

Here is what the study found. The people who practiced gratitude were happier and felt better than the other groups. They experienced higher levels of positive emotions, life satisfaction, vitality and optimism and lower levels of depression and stress than the other groups. The people who were assigned to think grateful thoughts exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events. Participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to make progress toward important personal goals.

Other studies by the Gratitude Project have shown that people with a strong disposition toward gratitude have the capacity to be empathic and to take the perspective of others. They are rated as more generous and more helpful by the people around them. Grateful people are more likely to acknowledge a belief in the interconnectedness of all life and a commitment and responsibility to others. They place less importance on material goods; they are less likely to judge their own and others’ success in terms of their possessions; they are less envious of wealthy persons; and are more likely to share their possessions with others.

Does this all sound like something you would want? It sure does to me. More life satisfaction, vitality, optimism, less stress, the ability to make progress toward personal goals, a sense of interconnectedness, and generosity—wow, wouldn’t that all be nifty! But what can we do to develop this habit of gratefulness?

HOW TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE

Here are a few suggestions to help you incorporate gratitude exercises into your daily life. I started these practices about a month ago, and I’ve found that they really work. They take very little time and I feel about the happiest I’ve ever felt. Nothing has really changed in my life. That is, all my challenges are still there, and my life is more complex than ever. I’m just more focused on being grateful. And I do feel more energetic, at peace and connected with those around me. I feel happier.

In the Gratitude Project, people created a written list each day. Setting aside a few moments during the day to write in a journal or to make a list is certainly one option. Another option that works well for me is to take a few minutes to simply think about the things for which I’m grateful. During my walk I spend the first five or 10 minutes just naming the people and things for which I’m grateful. I say them out loud because it seems that if I don’t, my mind wanders and I get distracted.

If you can’t think of things to be grateful for, start with yourself and then expand your thoughts to your family, friends, community and the world. For example, I might start by saying “I’m grateful for my health.” And then I widen the circle and express thanks for my wife and my daughter and my son, and then the people in my neighborhood. I think of the people I work with each day and I say their names and see each of their faces– “Thank-you for Alex and Emilly and Flor and Joanne and Lin and Mark and Mel and Mitos and Olive and Selmo and Thelma.” I’ll widen the circle again, saying, “I’m thankful for this beautiful community and all the helpfulness and caring and diversity here.” “I’m grateful for the natural beauty that surrounds us.” “I’m thankful to be alive during such an exciting time in history.”

GRATITUDE FOR THE LITTLE THINGS

Another idea is to express gratitude for the little things that might go unnoticed. “I’m grateful for toothpaste.” (Just imagine the world without it.) “I’m thankful for having this umbrella during the rain.” “I’m grateful for the people that deliver our water.” Focusing on the little things helps you create awareness and shows that you can be grateful even on a bad day.

By starting with yourself, and thinking about these widening circles and relationships that surround you, or by focusing on the little things, it’s not difficult to come up with quite a few things for which you can be grateful.

If you’re inclined toward prayer, you can express your gratitude as a prayer— “Thank you, God, for my friends and family. I am grateful for each of them.”

TEACHING CHILDREN GRATITUDE

This habit of gratefulness is a wonderful gift to give children. On our drives each day, our family plays “The Gratitude Game.” We take turns expressing the things for which we’re grateful. This week, my four-year-old son was grateful for the rain that fills the ocean so he can go swimming, and for the road that helps us get to school. My six-year-old daughter expressed her gratitude for her teacher, Mr. Michael, and her principal, Ms. Trish, and for the moon.

Are you a teacher? Have your classroom keep “Gratitude Journals” as a way of nurturing this habit of the heart.

SHARE YOUR GRATITUDE

Directing your thoughts toward gratefulness really takes no extra time at all. If you don’t have the time to write in a gratitude journal, you can do what I do: name the things for which you are grateful while you’re walking, or driving or getting ready in the morning, or working out. If you can connect these gratefulness exercises to an activity that you do each day, then you’re more likely to express your gratitude regularly. You can start directing your thoughts toward gratitude right now. Just take a moment. As you finish reading this column, pause and think about a few things for which you’re grateful. How does it feel? Tell me what you’re grateful for and I’ll include your grateful thoughts in a future column. Let me know if you would like to remain anonymous. You can write me c/o Better Living, Saipan Tribune, PO Box 10001, Saipan, MP 96950 or via email at davidkhorram@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you.

(David Khorram, MD is a board certified physician and a columnist for the Saipan Tribune. Questions and comments are welcome. Email davidkhorram@hotmail.com. Copyright © 2004 David Khorram.)