Screwy liberal ideas

Contemporary liberals have some pretty bizarre ideas. But they may not have gone far enough. So here are some additional ideas along the liberal mindset.

First, let’s take the issue of affirmative action. Why not have affirmative action for politicians? After all, since liberals have already violated free choice (EEOC) in the private sphere, why not violate it in the public sphere as well–you know, just to make it fair?

In this case, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission should make sure that minority political candidates are adequately represented at the ballot box, regardless of their qualifications. And if those minority candidates don’t win, they could then use the EEOC to help them sue the entire voting population for racial or other discrimination.

Of course, some would argue that this is untenable, because it would be impossible to know exactly who to sue, since we would not be able to tell who voted for which candidates. No problem. Just hire attorney Timothy Skinner.

You see, Mr. Skinner wanted to sue the entire CNMI garment industry collectively, indiscriminately, for $1 billion. Which is a lot like suing an entire ethnic population for the criminal transgressions most of their members (statistically) commit. Except that in Skinner’s case, he had no named plaintiffs (all Jane Does) and, well, no case either.

In any event, I think it makes perfect sense to enforce affirmative action quotas on the political scene. I mean, if an individual (or a small group of private individuals) can be legally prohibited from discriminating in the private business sector, why allow the whole voting population to potentially discriminate in the public sector? That would hardly be fair, now would it?

The other idea I had, I already mentioned in a previous column: capital unions for private businesses. Private corporations should be allowed to go on strike.

For example, if the CNMI government wanted to add another $10,000 to the already unreasonable poker machine licensing fees, I think all the poker businesses ought to be allowed to ban together and refuse to provide poker services (to go on strike) until the government finally backs down from its proposal.

After all, this is precisely the kind of tactic labor unions frequently employ, except that when businesses employ such tactics, it is called “anti-trust,” collusion, or being “in restraint of trade.” Which, again, is clearly unfair.

And here I thought that liberals valued fairness above all.