The Problem With Homework By: Anthony Pellegrino

If you have children in school, you are quite familiar with the following dialogue: “Son, did you do your homework? “Soon.” ” No, do it now! How many times do I have to remind you. Do your homework?” “But mom, there is a terrific TV program on now. Later, ok?” So the dialogue continues until you give up in frustration or the child reluctantly does a little homework. This nightly crisis gets worse as the child grows older. What can you do?

Just as expect your child to put in unusual effort in school to succeed, you must be willing to put in the same “unusual effort.” The first step to controlling and solving this nightly ritual of frustration is to determine who is in charge. Are you or is your child in charge? Please firmly determine that.

Once you and the child know who is in charge, proceed to discuss the key elements necessary to be successful in any endeavor you and your child choose to undertake. Two of the main factors for being successful in anything one undertakes are attitude and motivation.

Every step towards success depends on the “attitude” one possesses towards the goal set. Basically, attitude is a feeling or emotion one feels towards a person, a subject or a fact. It is constantly changing with every shift in mood. At times it is positive and all of a sudden it becomes negative.

When was the last time you and your child discussed each other’s attitude in a calm and unemotional state? Most of the times we tend to blurt out, ” Change your attitude. I don’t like it,” followed by an emotional flurry from both of you. Instead, set the stage for a calm and deliberate discussion between the two of you. Unless both of you decide the correct attitude, you cannot help your child.

Discuss with your child the following brief questions concerning attitude:

1. How do you feel at the beginning of each day?

2. Do you have specific goals that you are working to achieve? What are they?

3. Do you feel confident that the things you are learning will help you in la life?

4. Do you feel confident that you will succeed to some degree at whatever you try?

Another key ingredient is “motivation” which is the will to succeed, the drive to work towards a goal. Motivation is like the engine of a car that keeps the wheels turning while going up steep hills and covering long distances.

You must develop motivation techniques for your child which appear realistic and sustaining. One good way is to PRAISE work well done and REWARD positive behavior. Help him to realize that school should have an immediate and long range value.
in addition the child needs to learn timemanagement Skills. He must be shown how to use the limited time he has to accomplish his homework. Explain that concentration on what he is supposed to learn, will save much time.

Another point to be stressed is development of organizational skills. By organizing the work to be studied and by gathering the supplies needed prior to beginning the homework, he will save time and raise his efficiency.

The hitch to all of this is you. Are you willing to join your son or daughter in changing your attitude? Create motivation for both of you? Develop time management skills? And become better organized yourself?

Over 2,500 years ago the Chinese sage Lao Tzu said “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” Begin the journey with your children in hand. It will be rewarding.