An alright shoot-‘em-up action flick

By Joe Weindl
Special to the Saipan Tribune

When making a “gritty” crime drama or a “gritty” action movie, there are a few simple rules that need to be followed. First and foremost, the hero of the story must be a police officer who’s struggling—mentally—to cope with the loss of his former partner. Or maybe he’s lost his wife. He drinks bourbon for breakfast, and he has to have a dog. Secondly, the villains of the story must never go to jail; they would rather die, and of course they will do just that, before credits roll. Dirty cops are especially vulnerable to instant karma, which by the way, is Rule #3: There must always be at least one dirty cop, in order for a movie to qualify as “gritty.” Last but not least, anyone who announces their retirement is doomed.

Screenwriter James DeMonaco (The Negotiator, Jack) knows the rules, and he adheres to them quite faithfully in Assault on Precinct 13, the “gritty” action-movie remake of an old John Carpenter film. But that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad movie.

While watching Assault on Precinct 13, I kept arguing with myself. My inner intellect couldn’t help but notice that this isn’t exactly the most cerebral of movies, while my inner dude kept thinking, “Shut up, nerd; that was pretty sweet.” Even though the script is full of one-dimensional characters and tired action-movie clichés, it is, nevertheless, an alright shoot-‘em-up action flick, so long as you don’t expect anything more than just that.

In Assault on Precinct 13, Ethan Hawke (Training Day, Taking Lives) stars as Jake Roenick, the aforementioned alcoholic cop with abandonment issues. Lawrence Fishburne (The Matrix, Mystic River) costars as Marion Bishop, a super-bad, ultra-powerful gangster held captive at the titular Precinct 13, of which Roenick is in charge. Rounding out the cast are a bunch of lesser-known actors who shall remain lesser-known, a pair of skilled actors who deserve better roles than they landed (John Leguizamo and Gabriel Byrne), and a rapper (Ja Rule) who continues to show that his acting abilities are nowhere near his talents as an emcee. Actually, I take that back—he can’t rap either.

Snowed-in at Precinct 13, on New Year’s Eve, stranded in the middle of an industrial district in Detroit, Roenick and his police-buddies must band together with Bishop and a few other prisoners to survive the night, when a gang of crooked cops declares war on all inside, to keep Bishop from testifying against them. Uncomfortable friendships will be formed and, of course, there will be betrayals and near-betrayals. This could be interesting territory to explore, but DeMonaco is either not interested in or incapable of piecing together a story that might touch anybody’s nerves or perhaps let them think a little.

On the plus side, Hawke and Fishburne both turn in strong performances. The gangster Marion Bishop, who’s impossibly cool and super-invincible, is made believable through Fishburne’s acting, and Hawke does a great job illustrating the distress that must be felt in the midst of a gunfight. Unfortunately, I’ll have a difficult time ever seeing Fishburne as anybody other than Morpheus, much like Alec Guinness will always be Obi Wan, and Patrick Stewart will always be Jean-Luc Picard, but that’s really my fault, not any of theirs.

French director Jean-François Richet, a newcomer to Hollywood, does decent, if not particularly Oscar-worthy, work, and is lucky enough to have a relatively accomplished composer on-hand (Graeme Revell – The Chronicles of Riddick, Walking Tall), capable of banging out a workable, if not particularly Oscar-worthy, soundtrack.

Assault on Precinct 13 will be forgotten in a year or two, but considering the fact that it’s in a genre full of duds, I’d say it’s an okay movie, by comparison. Besides, it’s the middle of January, the weather’s been stinking, and what else are you going to watch?

(Comments? E-mail Weindl at joewatchermovies@yahoo.com)