Run, baby, run

A triathlon is crazy. That’s something I may have said growing up if I knew what it was back then which I don’t believe I did since the first one came in 1974 which is after I stopped growing up.

We played ball.

Marathon I had heard about, but not pentathlon, heptathlon, decathlon, or any other thlon for that matter except in the Olympics.

Swim-bike-run. Who came up with that idea? It’s got to be on Wikipedia but honestly I could care less so I won’t bother looking it up.

These days I only run to the bathroom. Back in the day, I only ran if I had the ball or the other guy had the ball.

Swimming to my way of thinking is a form of transportation. Or a good way to cool off on a hot afternoon.

Bicycles and childhood go together like peanut butter and jelly. Biking because I couldn’t afford a car in college was a fun, healthy, cheap lifesaver. But after coming to Micronesia (before some of you were born) I have yet to ride a bike. Call it the Fear Factor. Plus, I can afford an air-conditioned car.

This month I will drive my sun-roofed, 5-speed Rav4 with custom Okole waterproof seat covers to two triathlons: the XTERRA Saipan Championship and Tagaman Triathlon.

Top triathletes, and no, I am not competing, will swim in one of the nicest ocean courses anywhere, a shallow tranquil green-blue lagoon. Well, yeah, it was rough one year but anyone can have a bad year, right?

While our water is world-class (in the lagoon, not in the faucet), the roads are, huh, just roads I guess, actually not all that good to be honest. I would imagine other venues are better for biking. As for running, road is road. Pavement is pavement. It’s all hard. Harder than Chinese algebra.

What separates the XTERRA from Tagaman, and all other venues, is the bike and run course through the hills of Saipan with rugged terrain, caves, dramatic ocean views, wild jungle, farm plantations, and smiling volunteers at aid stations. That’s why so many of the triathletes return for the XTERRA.

Saipan has to be one of the best places for mountain biking, especially if you like to sweat.

Nowadays the only time I sweat is when I think about the future of the CNMI Retirement Fund.

Organizers smartly put the two triathlons back-to-back for logistical convenience so that these fitness buffs can do both.

The local XTERRA started here in 2002. The Tagaman has been staged every year since 1988 except two years when it was caught up in political small-mindedness and became victim of turf war.

The common denominator of the two calorie-burners is the threat of boonie dog attack anywhere on the course except the swim.

One year a top Australian who would have finished in the money round was knocked out of the race after a boonie dog attacked him. He crashed and was messed up pretty good, nice and bloody, but he wasn’t mad, more bemused than anything.

After the races are over, I’ll drive home unafraid. Boonie dogs don’t bother me when I am behind the wheel of my air-conditioned four-by-four.